My Father
It’s on anniversaries like today and father’s day that I think about him the most. But there are also countless other times, especially when my children say or do something funny, when I think about him not being around, not being here to enjoy the laughter.
My dad always described himself as “the quiet one” but if the truth be told that wasn’t exactly accurate; if talking was an Olympic event he would have left Michael Phelps gold medal tally in the dust.
I remember a day when the two of us visited the Imperial War Museum. It was a few years before he died and a rare moment when we could spend some quality time together learning about something that interested both of us.
Having walked around the museum for a few hours we decided to sit outside to ‘get some fresh air’ (which ironically meant he could squeeze in a quick smoke). We sat down on the long, cold white stone steps of the museum and looked out across the expansive front grass, over the huge naval guns and onto Lambeth Road.
As I looked at the row of beautiful London town houses opposite I started to enjoy the peace and tranquility of watching London go by. I’ve always enjoyed people watching, especially in a busy city like London, but the moment was interrupted. As we sat there my father started to comment on the local architecture, the history, the people walking by, in fact anything and everything. I started to think about the inaccuracy of his self perception and wondered if he would stop talking so I could enjoy the moment. He didn’t and I became a little irritated. He didn’t know of course, I just waited for an opportune moment then suggested we return to the museum.
To this day, and probably for the rest of my life, I regret that moment of selfishness.
Sometimes I imagine how we would all react if there was only 60 minutes left. What would you do if you knew that the world was to going to end in an hour? I think most of us would drop everything and if at all humanly possible spend that time with those closest to us. I think we would hold them and kiss them, we would tell them how much they mean, how the things they have done have brought happiness and joy. And I think we would tell those people just how much they are loved. It’s what I would do; no single email, telephone call or TV show would stop it.
And that’s when I think about what I would give to relive that moment with my father. Without hesitation I know I would exchange years of my own life to have that moment back. And I would joyfully listen as he spoke about anything and everything.
What does this have to do with real estate, technology or marketing? Absolutely nothing. I just want to share how I’m feeling today and hope that the following video makes you feel as I do every time I watch it. Love those around you, they won’t be here for ever.
Stephen,
Thank you for sharing your story. It is a beautifully written
reminder that we should take time to “look up” often and consider what is most important to us.
Anyone who watches the film will think back to some moment in life that can be represented by the sparrow…and look up. I know I did.
Kindest Regards,
randy
Hi Randy – interestingly I find myself thinking about the film a lot when I deal with my own children. I remind myself that their constant interruptions are short lived and that I should enjoy them. I know a time will come (too soon I’m sure) when I will want, even look forward to, them ‘interrupting’ my day.
Stephen,
What a compelling story and video. This grandmother has just published my first book, and the most important page is the dedication__to my daughter! I waited patiently for my mother to go over every photo, knowing she would later read every word and know how much I love them all.
Thanks for sharing on this morning. I’ll be thinking of my dad today too. He used to play ‘Authors’ with me, and I’m sure he would be proud of his daughter, the author. Thank you!
Hi Carol – thank you for the comment and good luck with the book! 🙂 Steve
A wonderfully written, heartfelt tribute.
Stephen,
Thanks for sharing that very personal moment. I don’t think anyone who watched that film is without moments where they felt the same emotion. I also suspect I am not the only one who struggled to fight back tears.
You have reminded me of how I have sometimes treated my grandfather, who used to visit me every summer to go fishing. Now he’s in an assisted living facility in Texas, no longer able to make the trip at 98 years old.
What I’m saying is I think I have a task this weekend, and a phone call to make, inspired by your blog. Thanks for the reminder.
Rich
Hi Rich
It truly warms my heart to know that the post has such a positive result 🙂
Steve
Hey Stephen – I couldn’t agree more with your point.
Here is something I read the other day and wanted to share.
The Mayonnaise Jar
When things in your life seem, almost too much to handle,
When 24 Hours in a day is not enough,
Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy class
and had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly,
He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
And proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students, if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured
them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open Areas between the golf balls.
He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively
filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
‘Now,’ said the professor, as the laughter subsided,
‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things – family,
children, health, Friends, and Favorite passions –
Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, Your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car.
The sand is everything else –The small stuff.
‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ He continued,
there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.
If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,
You will never have room for the things that are important to you.
So…
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play With your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.
There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.
‘Take care of the golf balls first —
The things that really matter.
Set your priorities.. The rest is just sand.’
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.
The professor smiled.
‘I’m glad you asked’.
It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.’
Joe – great story! I’ve been thinking about it a lot 🙂
A great story.
Stephen: You make me cry, your make me laugh, you make me “feel”. Thanks.
Hi Bunny – it means *a lot* to me (more than I can detail in a few words) to know that the post(s) move you even if sometimes that means with a tear 🙂 Steve
Needless to say you made me cry too – buckets in fact
Hi Steve,
I know where your coming from, I miss my Dad as much today as the day he died. I was a daddy’s girl and my dad was my hero.
The one good thing that came from looseing him was realising how precious time is, and being able to make the most of the time with my mum.We were never as close as my dad and I but sharing our fond memories of dad has brought us closer, and for that I’m very grateful. Time is a very precious thing but costs nothing to give.
Hope all’s well
Jan
Steve, a very powerful story/message followed by the short film and all the comment’s. your Dad did like a chat and always knew a thing or two about most things. Yes it also bought a tears to my eyes.xxxx