I’ve always had a soft spot for people who can laugh at themselves, perhaps in part because I have to laugh at my own shortcomings so regularly.
There’s a lot to laugh about in real estate (it’s there, you just have to find it) not least what my good friend Matthew Ferrara calls ‘new latin’. He’s referring to the abbreviations consistently used throughout real estate marketing. Most of it makes sense to most Realtors but that doesn’t mean any of it makes sense to the rest of us. How many abbreviations are there? Go on, take a guess. LandTerms.com currently list several hundred abbreviations and acronyms!
The BiggerPockets Website looks at a related problem. Along with “DBL” (double), “HWTR” (hot water) and “SPLT” (split level or is it split entry or is it split lot?) is eloquent copy that is frequently used when Realtors or FSBO’s market homes. Here are twenty with ‘practical’ translations; I hope you can laugh at yourself 🙂
Old charmer – an old and ugly house
Stunning house – the house is not ugly
Tudor – two bedrooms are in the attic which is not insulated; very hot in summer and very cold in winter
Cape Cod – styled after Third World slum dwellings
Sunny corner lot – noisy intersection of two busy streets
Easy freeway access – noisy arterial street close to freeway
Low maintenance lot – no yard; the kids will have to play in the street
Meticulously maintained in the original condition – the appliances are 50 years old
Ready to remodel – the house is about to collapse; you will have to invest twice the asking price in remodel before you can move in
Newly remodeled kitchen – 50-year old cabinetry and faucets have been replaced with cheap modern equivalents
Ready to move in – the interior has been painted with one coat of cheap paint
Desirable neighborhood – this little house is extravagantly overpriced because the neighborhood has a snobbish reputation
1 car garage – you can drive your Ford Escort into the garage but there is no room to open the door
In-city living – it is not safe to walk in this neighborhood after dark
Recreation room with wet bar – basement has been painted and has a faucet
Large family room – large basement
Bedroom in basement – basement has a 1′ by 2′ window
Lots of storage space – basement too small to be called a family room
Partial mountain view – you can see the tip of Mt. Olympus if you climb the roof
Territorial view – good view of your neighbor’s bedroom window
For the entire list see biggerpockets.com.
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