Source: AdvertisingAge

By: Dana Severson @danerobert.

What would a world without real-estate ads look like? Aside from an even smaller classified section, we’d be deprived of those wonderful ads for local real-estate professionals. And that’s a world Minneapolis-based ad director Dana Severson doesn’t want to live in. The proprietor of the Official Real”ad”tor Awards blog, Mr. Severson collects his favorites and nominates them for his mostly imaginary award program. Here are a few of his favorites:

STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN

Ladies and gentlemen, I present you . . . Led Zeppelin:

There’s a lady who’s sure all that glitters is gold
And she’s buying a stairway to heaven
When she gets there she knows, if the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for
Ooh, ooh, and she’s buying a stairway to heaven
Mission accomplished, Jo Ann! We’ve effectively tied your brand message (an incredibly strong one, I might add) to arguably the greatest song in rock ‘n’ roll history. But don’t thank me. Your creative was my inspiration. When you throw me a quote like, “I’ll take you step by step to your new home” and marry that with the staircases, I mean, what options do I have but to offer you a platinum nomination?

Warning to Realtors: If any of you have the bright idea of selling the value of a home’s staircase instead of those fancy-schmancy granite countertops, think again. Our new platinum goddess has the market cornered.

ICE CUBES TO ESKIMOS

Burrrr! All right, we’re sold. Now everyone please come inside and enjoy some hot cocoa with me so I can figure out who’s the mastermind behind this gem. I’m not one for assumptions, but I have a sneaking suspicion that it might be the Grand Poobah in the middle whom everyone seems to be coddling.
What really impresses me is that this indigenous real-estate group from Iowa not only sold us on their creative prowess but also managed to sell the photographer and designer on this controversial concept. In a word: spectacular! You all get an A for Awesome.

Hey, mama bear, let the crew know that we’ll keep PETA off your back. You guys just keep pumpin’ out ads.

UNDERWATER WORLD

I guess it’s time to point out that outstanding real-estate creative doesn’t always have to come in the form of billboards and bus benches. Take Liz here, for example. While on a trip to Maui, she suddenly had a stroke of brilliance. “Captain, turn this boat around! I need to go back to the hotel and grab my sign.” (Thank god you packed it, Liz, good thinking.) You see, as Liz was peering over the edge of the speeding boat, it suddenly dawned on her: “What if I could visually represent the sale of the biggest piece of real estate on the planet — the ocean?” Clearly the concept worked, hook, line and sinker, Liz. Bravo! Once you get back to shore and pat yourself dry with your shammy, go check with the front desk — there’s a special waterproof gold nomination waiting for you!

GOT TALENT?

Thank you, thank you, thank you, Linda. Finally! We’ve waited patiently for someone to have the vision to exploit those two simple words that have transformed the entire dairy industry. Just a slight modification, and voilà! You did it! And, let’s be honest, how many people have really seen the “other” campaign anyway? Plus, it just makes a ton of sense grammatically. Got Realtor? Yes, we do — we got you. Guess what you got, Linda? You got yourself a silver nomination.

A BEAUTIFUL MIND

Laurel, it’s your lucky day! It just happens that a good friend of the Real”ad”tor team is also a professor of applied mathematics at MIT. So naturally, we asked him to take your advice, crunch the numbers and do the math. And, guess what he came up with! You guessed it — Laurel Coyel + spectacular ad = gold. Nomination, that is.

About The Author:

Born with a large forehead and natural ability to develop outrageously absurd ideas, Dana Severson was immediately drawn to the advertising industry at a very early age. Growing up, he’d often get caught sipping a three-finger apple juice (disguised as cognac), smoking candy cigarettes, dressed like his favorite superhero, David Ogilvy. Fast forward a few decades, and we find Dana (with a larger forehead) getting paid to develop outrageously absurd ideas as an advertising director and downing three-shot espressos. Dana is a Adage.com contributor and is known to post random advertising concepts on Twitter. He is available for sideshow demonstrations and Bill Bernbach impersonations.

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